How to deal with pre-travel stress and anxiety

Planning, booking, packing and then going on a trip – big or small – is a rollercoaster for me. The planning and booking stages are usually a caffeine-fueled euphoria. Somewhere within my complex travel decision math lies a formula that factors in all parties involved (usually me, my husband, and our two young children, ages five and seven) and whether we’ll all have a good time, whether the time frame fits in our work and school schedules, and if the destination is calling me (don’t ask me how that last one works, it’s almost a spiritual experience?).

Finally, the trip is booked. Is there a better feeling than this? The days, weeks or months after the booking period are spent marinating in my accomplishment and wondering if my family realizes how lucky they are to have such a smart travel planner within their ranks.

But then the tides start to turn a bit, usually around 3am, as the departure date starts to get closer. I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night and doubts creep in. Did I choose the right destination? What if someone gets sick? Is the flight time too early? Is the connection too tight? Do we have all the equipment we need?

The truth is, my pre-travel anxiety has gotten a lot worse since becoming a parent, for a few reasons: (1) I’m responsible for other human beings now, and (2) kids (especially toddlers) get sick. LOT. The latter is essential because it highlights the loss of control over the situation, which is difficult for me to deal with. Control is a huge factor when it comes to anxiety, at least for me. The idea that we might wake up on the day of our flight and one of the kids might have a fever or start fussing is just a little more than my nerves can ever handle. Unfortunately, this means that, embarking on a trip, I begin to not only stress out, but also have anxiety attacks that can result in anything from frustration and rage to tears of overwhelm, requiring meditation and box breathing to calm ourselves and bring us out ideally. the door with some hope and optimism that fueled the trip in the first place.

It’s gotten so bad that I’ve literally whispered to myself in shock as I stumble across the finish line of the ride in utter disarray, “I’ll never do that again.”

Like.

However, once we are on our way, as Dr. My absolute happiest place is embarking on a new adventure to explore the great unknown. Because I love it so much, not only will I never give it up, but I’ve also been working on ways to minimize my stress and anxiety before the trip. Here are some of the things that have helped me.

Acknowledging that anxiety exists

For me, the first step in overcoming my pre-travel anxiety has been recognizing that it exists and getting a better sense of the patterns and triggers. It hit me after I became a parent, so it took me a while to say, “Oh, I’m extremely stressed before trips now. This is new.” But once I did, I could better identify the recurring nature of these episodes and explain what was going on to my husband (in a calmer way than with hysterical tears on our way out the door).

Organizing my home

What does cleaning the house have to do with leaving the house? In my restless mind, everything. If the house is a mess, my brain is a mess and I become increasingly overwhelmed and frustrated. I’ve found that taking the time to get the house in order before I start packing is worth the effort for the amount of stress it reduces. It comes with the main benefit of returning to a home that is not in a state of complete chaos. Before my rise in pre-travel anxiety, cleaning and organizing my abode pre-departure was an optional bonus activity. But I have realized that it is now non-negotiable and I have carved out the time to make it happen.

Start packing well in advance

Now that the house is thoroughly cleaned, it’s time to start packing. Trying to finish all the packing and other tasks for a departure on time (I am an early airport girl, after all) only adds to my pre-trip anxiety. That’s because it inevitably takes longer than I think it will. And any need to rush or do too many things at once starts to pile on my feelings of overwhelm. Because of this, I’ve taken it upon myself to get my suitcases out at least a week or two in advance so I can start packing them little by little, which reduces last minute stress.

My packing lists for myself and my kids are ingrained in my mind at this point, but I keep an ongoing packing list in my Notes app to make sure I remember everything. I especially rely on it for more complicated trips—for example, a longer trip abroad or to a hot or cold destination where we need water or snow gear that we don’t usually pack. I don’t use the list for every trip, but it’s there when I need it or when I start to feel overwhelmed.

I also use laundry day up to about a week before our trips as an opportunity to sort all the clean laundry right into the trunk. Instead of taking those clothes out only to have to take them out again to pack them, I fold them and they go in my suitcases. If it’s a road trip, the same can apply to any gear and dry foods we plan to bring. Gadgets can be added to the back of the minivan (aka the world’s best road trip car), and sandwich bread, peanut butter, spaghetti, and sauce stack up in our Yeti Cooler Bag (don’t ask me why we use a cooler bag for dry goods – progress, not perfection, right?) a few days before departure.

Making peace with the worst case scenario(s).

What causes me a lot of pre-travel stress, especially in recent years, is my internal battle with the “worst-case scenario,” which in my mind is usually medical: an unforeseen illness or injury that disrupts the entire trip before or during our travels. . But, as with many other fears, there is nothing I or anyone can do about it (it’s an imaginary future scenario!).

So, instead of resisting the spiral, I decided to embrace the spiral. I take the “what if” thought process to the last zone. Maybe one of the kids BEN wake up with a massive fever. We can’t fly. Now what? Well, we will have to cancel or postpone flights and hotels. We might lose some money. We will probably lose a lot of money. Okay, okay, we have credit cards with some degree of coverage and we have travel insurance. (While we don’t invest in travel insurance for simple road trips and such, we do when we buy four expensive round-trip flights for domestic or international travel.) We’ll recover what we can. And what? No big deal. Life will go on.

I will engage in this exercise with any fears or concerns that arise. I’ve found this to be much more effective than trying to suppress those worries, which then haunt the back rooms of my mind, fueling increased irritability. With this method, I regain some sense of control when faced with anxious thoughts about all the things that could go wrong—because we all know that what we think will go wrong isn’t, in fact, what will. Actually go wrong (but that’s another can of anxiety worms).

Packing an anti-anxiety toolkit

Whatever worries me about my travels, I like to think about what I can do to address those issues head-on while traveling. I keep coming back to health issues because it’s the root of a lot of my recent pre-travel anxiety, but this hack can be applied to other anxiety-inducing concerns as well. It helps that I pack a thermometer (this Braun non-contact thermometer, our go-to for years, has been around the world with us) and children’s Tylenol in our carry-on, along with a plastic bag in case anyone gets sick. their stomachs. It makes me feel a little less helpless at the thought of a health problem that suddenly arises while we’re on the go.

If I’m worried about connectivity at our destination, maybe it’s as simple as bringing an old-fashioned folding map so we know we’ll still be able to get around if I lose access to Google Maps (the horror). To find road maps, go to your nearest AAA office and they will help you. If I worry about getting enough sleep, having a sleep mask, noise-cancelling headphones, and a great travel pillow helps me trust that I’ll find a way to settle into sleep mode.

I find that just having these tools on me is enough to stave off at least some of the stress – a sort of security blanket for travel anxiety, if you will. (I like to think it brings me better luck, too. You know, the whole bring-an-umbrella-so-it-won’t-rain idea.)

Embracing the pitfalls

In a strange way, I like when things I DO (occasionally) makes mistakes on the road and finally the so-called worst case scenario happens: when my husband BEN twist my ankle on our last night in Mexico before our full day of flying home, or when we I DO I miss a flight connection. Travel has an amazing ability to show us what we are made of. And when things go sideways, we can look back and say, “Hey, we got through that. We can get through almost anything.” I always tell my kids that traveling teaches us how to solve problems in situations we can’t experience at home, and that’s a big part of what makes it so interesting and exciting. Ultimately, those more difficult moments help inform my ongoing struggles with anxiety, while I carry with me the knowledge that the journey was, indeed, worth it after all.