- Stressing about finding ways to relax can increase anxiety, leading to feelings of “relaxed stress.”
- Health experts say there are several ways you can avoid or overcome the feeling of “relaxed stress.”
- Chronic stress can increase a number of health risks, including high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke.
Recognizing that you are stressed and need to relax is a good step in helping yourself.
However, when finding ways to de-stress adds more stress to your life, you can end up feeling “calmed,” a counterproductive effect that can lead to a vicious cycle of increased anxiety and worry.
“This term refers to the phenomena or experience of people who are in a state of anxiety or stress trying to calm down and feel more relaxed by forcing themselves to rest or relax,” Dr. Michael Schirripa, psychiatrist, podcast host and author of the upcoming novel Mindhunt, told Healthline.
When people force themselves to relax, they may become more anxious and may worry more about how well or efficiently they are able to relax.
The clinical term for “de-stressed” is anxiety caused by relaxation, said Deborah Serani, Psy.D., a professor at Adelphi University and author of the award-winning book, “Living with Depression.”
“Research suggests that if you already struggle with generalized anxiety or overthinking, you may be more prone to stress. Other evidence suggests that individuals with stress difficulties may also experience panic attacks in addition to their stress and anxiety. And then there are others who can become depressed because they can’t rest freely,” she told Healthline.
In many ways, the brain resists forced relaxation, especially the part of the brain called the amygdala, which is always on the lookout for danger.
“We need to remember that our brain is always ‘on’ and is actually designed to be anxious. After all, that anxiety can keep us alive as we are always aware of the potential dangers that could threaten us threaten”, said Schirripa.
People who live with anxiety, worry and rumination have difficulty with cognitive control, meaning they have a hard time putting certain thoughts “on hold,” Serani said.
“Along another line, there are some people who may need to stay busy because subconsciously, being quiet, having space, and experiencing ease can create negative thoughts or memories of traumatic experiences,” she added.
Schirripa said people find it difficult to relax because of external pressures and internal dynamics.
External pressures, such as work, study, family and other commitments, can make people feel as if they are constantly “locked in” to the outside world and are at the beck and call of others.
“They may then feel compelled to comply with the demands of these external influences, and as such, this may lead to a perception that they are not allowed to actually have any respite or space to relaxed that it’s just for themselves,” Schirripa. said.
Serani pointed out that working time and free time no longer have definitive boundaries.
“A long time ago, the work day ended at 5:00 p.m. and weekends were for rest and relaxation, and on Sundays, shops were closed, which helped facilitate home time and relaxation. These guidelines of predictable simply do not exist anymore, – she said.
Additionally, technology, accessibility, and other modern conveniences have blurred the lines of work and play, leading to what sociologist Dalton Conley of Princeton University coined “Weisure” (the union of work and leisure activities).
“So it becomes very difficult to determine the time of relaxation”, said Serani.
Internal dynamics that affect the ability to relax include feeling the urge to keep active and not allowing yourself to slow down and relax.
“Sometimes people worry that if they’re relaxed, they’ll get bored or, alternatively, by slowing down and relaxing, there may be a fear that they’ll have to focus too much on the thoughts or feelings going on inside them.” € said Schirripa.
Chronic stress has been associated with
“Depression and anxiety can increase, as can social, relationship and interpersonal difficulties when you don’t stop and smell the roses,” Serani said.
Failure to properly switch off and relax can “reset” the nervous system to function at an overstimulated level, added Natalie Christine Dattilo, PhD, clinical psychologist, founder of Priority Wellness, and instructor at Harvard Medical School.
“Over time, this can make it harder to elicit a relaxation response,” she told Healthline. “I meet people who tell me they feel anxious, on edge and worried ‘from the neck down’, but I don’t describe the feeling of mental anxiety at all, which to me is an indication that we need to actively restore their default state of activation through the practice of intentional relaxation.â€
When trying to relax, Dattilo said first realize that relaxation isn’t as passive an activity as people are led to believe, and it doesn’t come naturally to some people.
“I think one of the main reasons some people have a hard time relaxing is because it’s actually a skill we have to practice regularly in order to fully experience its beneficial effects,” Dattilo said.
Often, people confuse relaxation with “zoning out.”
“It can certainly give our brains a break, but the real purpose of relaxation is to ‘wind down’ our nervous system,” Dattilo said.
The decrease in displacement occurs through a
“It counteracts the negative effects of stress and returns our nervous system to a homeostatic balance,” she said.
Inducing the relaxation response can be done through visualization, muscle relaxation, massage, breathing techniques, meditation, prayer and yoga.
Try the following tips to put relaxation into motion.
- Set boundaries between work and home life. “Also, consider powering off technology early each night. Make self-care a priority and learn how to manage it every day,” said Serani.
- Practice the Benson relaxation method, which
It includes sitting in a comfortable position, closing your eyes, deliberately relaxing all the muscles, starting from your feet to your head, breathing slowly, for 20 minutes. “This will likely feel a little challenging or forced at first, so maybe start with 5 minutes and gradually work your way up,” Dattilo said. - Focus on a “to do” list. to remember what you have already achieved. “Thinking about the to-do list makes you feel in the future, preventing you from being in the moment,” said Serani. “Highlighting your to-do list will help celebrate your completed tasks and encourage relaxation. A to-do list helps you stay in the past.â€
- Engage in 5-minute meditation. “Studies
SHOW that even 5 minutes of deep breathing, silence and calmness can improve mental and physical functioning”, said Serani. If you can go longer meditating, consider a guided meditation with an app, or just rest, sleep or enjoy some solitude, she said. - Nourish the senses and ground yourself using the “5,4,3,2,1 Technique” to reduce anxiety so you can relax more easily. “Ask yourself to find 5 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, 4 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste,” said Serani.
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